Elan is an absolute queen. Sorry that this post is so delayed—I should have posted it by the beginning of July. Regardless, enjoy the picture walk-through of life in LA with Elan!

Elan arrived Thursday night, after I'd hung out with her husband Michael for almost two days. When she came in, she started talking, and I started taking notes. She told me about undergrad, law school, life in California (she's from Ohio!), and her kids. Michael would jump in every now and then, helping her tell a story or relating it to something he'd already told me. And I thought they looked basically adorable, so I took this picture, except the lighting on Elan's face is a little weird; sorry, Elan. There's a real pic of her further down, and then you can see how freaking gorgeous she is.

Here's Elan's home office, which they converted from a tiny garage.

Here's the inside. On Friday, we spent from 8am till 1-ish on conference calls. Being very important, changing the world, that kind of thing. 

Elan and I spent Friday afternoon packing for her next trip—a week of vacation in Massachusetts for the fourth of July. She hates packing, but we got it done, and then we prepped party snacks for that evening. She'd invited her friends over, and I loved all of them. There was Jo (Joe? Is Jo always how women spell it?) and Debbie and Robbie and Jessica and Allison, and I'm realizing that I don't know how to spell any of these names so I'm going to stop listing them. But I loved being around them, and it gave me hope that I don't hate parties, I just don't like college-aged kids. Give me a room full of moms, I guess, and I'll be completely happy! (hahaha jk) (but not rly) (I am 39 at heart).

Elan had told me about these women in her initial response to me. Because most of them don't have family in LA, they are each other's encouragers, protectors, and supporters. The crew of these women and their husbands met each other when their kids were in elementary school, and they've been each other's people ever since. 

One of the ladies, Allison, is married to a guy named Tim. Elan had told me this, but Tim had a stroke in late April of this year. He was in Tampa, Elan was in Cleveland, and Allison was in LA, along with the rest of the group. As soon as they heard the news, this tight group of families mobilized. They got Allison to Tampa and cared for Tim and Allison's kids. Elan canceled a work trip and flew to Tampa to support Allison. In the months since, the group has supported the family as Tim switches rehab facilities and as Allison adjusts to this new pattern of life. 

This experience represented to Elan the archetypal story of their friend group. Once during the party, Elan looked around, then looked at me, then said "This." 

"This is what's important, what gives life meaning. These people."

And it was true! I had gotten to watch Senior-Vice-President-Elan, who has three phone calls at once and flies across the country four times a month. I had heard about lawyer-Elan, who hated practicing law, and about mom-Elan, who didn't feel cut out to stay at home all the time. And when I saw Friday-evening-hostessing-friend Elan, I understood that her many skills and talents and even her weaknesses or dislikes slid around that group like sock feet on a wood floor. They concentrated into her best self, yet they also diffused into the charismatic group dynamic. And from what I could see, that's how all the ladies were. Their friendships weren't sappy, or over-sweet, they were just exactly real life. And that's what they needed that night I was there, June 30th, 2017, and that's what they had needed for the ten, fifteen, twenty years before then. Life, for them, was in each other, as their streets and lives crisscrossed and their kids grew up. 

Hey! I took a few days off, but I'm back! I could pretend I've been working really hard on short stories about this trip, but I really just baked and went swimming with C and Ab (you've seen them on my insta story) and learned this Hamilton Evans dance that is absolute fire. If you don't spend your spare time watching dance videos on YouTube, you should. 

What's left, then, before I head back out on the road? A final post about Elan and Michael (spoiler: it's turned into two posts), then posts about my final shadow stop last weekend in Riverside. I'll probably catch up just in time to leave again . . . perfect timing!

I absolutely loved my time with Michael and Elan. (Now that I got in a non-original, non-informative introductory statement, I'll start saying things that are actually interesting, or something.)

Michael did that art on the wall, the print of their dogs. Their dogs have passed away, but they inherited Michael's sister's cat, which you can see on the couch. But they both claim that they "aren't cat people," so I'm passing on the message.

I arrived on Wednesday afternoon. I'd driven down that morning from the Bay Area, which, if you've heard that phrase your entire life and don't really know what it means, see my very geographical explanation in my last posts. 

When I pulled up to Elan and Michael's home, Michael introduced himself and showed me around the house. Elan, he informed me, had been unable to get back into town from work and would be arriving the following day. We sat in the living room talking for at least an hour, maybe two. Michael was over-complimentary of my crazy idea ("I think it should be required," a sentiment Elan echoed when I met her). He mentioned it in light of Dirty Jobs, the show on TV where Mike Rowe interviewed people with difficult or undesirable jobs; I loved that analogy. 

He asked me where the idea for The Summer Shadow came from. My answer to this is different each time depending on what I'm thinking about at the moment, but this time I talked about learning how to have important, honest, genuine conversations with people once I got to college. Because I had no friends. Because I moved four states over. Because I realized that if I wanted friendships founded on Christ, I needed to be brave enough to talk about Christ. Cool story, I'll tell it sometime.

This is the tree at the top of the hike!

Anyway, we also talked about their neighborhood and his past jobs and current job. He was the creative director at Klutz books, he worked in marketing for the Koosh ball, and other sorts of random, California-classic "i've-heard-of-that-but-never-realized-real-people-worked-on-it-and-now-I-know-one" way. Also, a job appeared on his phone screen while we were talking—his casting agent had an audition for him for a commercial. (!!!!!is this normal). It called for a dad-looking man who would be flipping burgers at a tailgate; the email said a "normal to average" looking male. We laughed at that description for the next three days. "Normal to average," he'd say, "is the same thing." 

Anyway, we followed that two-hour conversation with a hike, and we talked for two more hours then. He told me about discovering that he could draw in high school, and the slow evolution that followed as he turned out of a shy person and into an artist. He even got onto student council because his posters were so good. And once he was on it he did nothing, he claims, and his election now seems like less of a good idea because he has to help plan class reunions. 

casual view. that's the griffith observatory on the far left!

When we got home, we started talking again, until 7:45 when Michael started making dinner. He'd recently decided to learn how to cook and has been ordering Hello Fresh, so we had Dukka-crusted chicken (I linked the google search for you; we didn't know what it was either). He did it all without letting me help, claiming that he needed to know he could do it himself. Which of course he did without any issues, and it was delicious. The chicken came with sweet potatoes. It also came with sugar snap peas, which was the only hiccup in the preparation. I've attached a picture of the instructions so that you can see how easily the mistake could happen: "Add sugar," so he added sugar, just a dash, then went back to the instructions, "snap peas." He started laughing. He'd added sugar. Instead of adding sugar snap peas. So we ate them, and called them sugar sugar snap peas. 

the chef himself!!

see how you could just read "add sugar?" so he did!

Over dinner, we had another two-hour conversation, this time about politics, and it was my favorite conversation I've had about politics in a long time. I'd say we're each accommodating, sensible citizens, if I can make that claim. I agree more with him about politics and the world today than most of my friends. Both of us are mild-mannered about politics, so even that was kindred and pleasant. Conversations are such a better way to spend an evening than TV. Which is my reflection on the end of that night, and also another topic of conversation Michael and I touched on along with politics.

The next day, Michael told me what Elan would have been doing, if she'd been home—working in her office, eating lunch at a cute health-food-y cafeteria place called Lemonade—so that's what I did. She was set to get home in the late evening, so that afternoon, he and I went to audition for the commercial. 

The commercial audition—a bunch of people, organized by type, a bunch of rooms, organized by number. Michael signed in, memorized his lines, waited his turn, went into the room, and then we left. Except it took longer than that sounds, because Michael was early and casting was late. Fascinating experience. 

creeper picture I took of Michael waiting for his big moment

That night, we ate at a place down the street, then I worked on a blog post while he ran to the grocery store to get food for Elan. While we waited for her flight to land, we watched World of Dance and So You Think You Can Dance.

SYTYCD (because, in addition to being the best show, is also the worst-named show, so it requires a lengthy and annoying acronym) is basically the only TV show I care about or watch. Michael had talked about these shows on the way back from the hike the day before. He had been explaining to me why World of Dance's in-the-round stage doesn't work, why Nigel is a good judge, and why the camera needs to cut between takes less often. 

Few people watch these shows, so it's always fun to find someone else who does. But a dad-aged man who is conversant not only on the production and cinematography but also on all the dancers is an absolute rarity. So I had a blast talking about Teddy Coffey with someone who knew who he was. (If you don't, you should.)

This is Michael, explaining to me the problems with World of Dance's cinematography. Amazing.

That night, Elan got home. WOW I love her. But I wrote so much about Michael that for your sake and my sake and their sake, we'll give her her own post.

But I loved my time with Michael. Here's his website for his creative work, and here's the one for his musical group. He is funny and interesting and engaging. I liked talking to him, sometimes because he was so good at listening. And sometimes because he was so good at talking that I didn't have to talk. Usually people do one or the other; it was impressive to meet someone who can do both. It was also nice because when I was chatty or curious, i could talk, but when my introvert-self was exhausted, I could nod and smile. (And still listen! But not have to try as hard.) 

Michael did comedy improv for years. The one rule of comedy improv, he told me, is "yes, and . . ." Regardless of what someone says to you on stage, you must agree, and only then may you add your own idea. I'm not in the business of deciding whether to like people or not. But here's how I'd characterize Michael, if he were going into a book: he's the type of guy you feel like you should like less and less once you know him, because he's better than you at everything. And the more time you spend with him, the more things you find out that he's good at. But the more you hang out with him, the more you like him, because he's the person who always gives a "yes, and." He's amenable and interesting; Elan apologized for not being at the house for the first day I was there, but I think spending the first day with Michael and the next one with her was absolutely perfect.

I spent Wednesday night till Friday night with Elan and Michael, a couple who live in Studio City, Los Angeles. Elan manages real estate for banks, and Michael does graphic design and writing and also singing and acting and stand-up comedy. Quite the pair. I would be fine being either of them when I grow up.

But really, hanging out with them was so fun. I spent the first full day with Michael—Elan was out of town for work until Thursday night, so Michael and I hung out on Wednesday and Thursday, then I shadowed Elan all day Friday. I'll write all about the experience in the next post, of course, but here's some highlights for now. It's in the style of the daily schedule posts, but a more laid-back version. Super LA, yeah?