I have a difficult time starting blog posts. What do I say first? Usually I come up with some general (and generally meaningless statement) that does a sub-par job of leading into whatever I'm writing about that day. 

Today I'm going to try for concision and accuracy. 

Last week, I made Peanut Butter Cup Chia Seed Pudding, a recipie from Emilie Eats that I saw on Instagram. 

Isn't it beautiful? It's layers of chocolate and peanut butter flavors topped with sliced banana, coconut, and chocolate chips. I'm not the most avid lover of chia pudding, but this was delicious as far as they go! I was thinking that it's be interesting to try the same ingredients as an overnight oat recipe instead. 

I'd give it a 9/10 on visual, taste, and easy-to-make-ness. Such high ratings! I think the fun of using a mason jar helped, as did the fun of throwing half the contents of my pantry on top. 

Here's the link, so if you're feeling adventurous, check it out! 

It’s now April 6. 

And I haven’t eaten dessert since February 28. 

First, YAY. 

Second, that’s only sort of true. Let me explain.

On March 2, I was talking to a friend and said, “I haven’t eaten dessert all month.” Please understand—it was March 2nd. There’s nothing all that impressive about not eating dessert for two days. But getting to say that sentence was so empowering. It let me have a taste of what it would be like to have control over what I ate, especially when I’d been struggling that for so long. It would remind me that dessert doesn’t rule me, sweets don’t rule me, I rule myself. I have self-control from the Holy Spirit, and I can do it. 

So, I did it. I decided not to eat dessert for a month. 

Now, let me get specific. Down to the details, just for clarity and so you’re not overimpressed:

I had already made plans to go to pie night with Rah on spring break, so I knew I’d eat dessert on March 18. I also realized I’d be visiting New York City for part of spring break, so I told myself I could have dessert three times when I was there. So I had pie on pie night, ice cream in New York, and cookies in New York. I only ate it twice in New York—even less than I'd allowed!

I would eat a donut or pancake if it was a meal, but, for the most part, I didn’t eat much food that even, like those two, resembled dessert. I was especially assiduous at the beginning—no muffins or some bread products or anything that could resemble dessert—but near the end I got a little more chill. Funny story, I unthinkingly ate a few Oreo crumbles on March 31. MARCH THIRTY-FIRST. That’s the last day of March. So that could be a bummer, but I just choose to look at it as a non-issue. Because it wasn’t an attitude change, just an accident.

And you know what? Just like anything, the more I’ve practiced, the better I’ve gotten. I’m eight days into April. I told myself I couldn’t have dessert till I made a new plan and I wrote about my non-dessert month. I’ve been too busy to write about it, so I’ve still not been eating dessert. And that’s been okay! Yes, I compensate in some ways—I’ll have chocolate in my oats or with an apple and peanut butter. But I can say that I didn’t eat dessert for forty days, as of today. And it may not be true legalistically, but it’s true in its reflection of my mindset. I am mentally strong enough, my will was strong enough, I haven’t had candy or useless sugar or random dessert. The Holy Spirit equipped me to “say no to all unrighteousness and ungodliness,” like I’ve been praying for so much.

I know that I'll still have to practice restraint, and it'll still be hard. But it’s not about achieving balance, it’s about learning balance. So maybe if I allow myself to have dessert again, I’ll make it have to be for certain reasons, or at certain times. I think those stringencies will be best for me—choosing ahead of time when I will and won’t eat dessert. Any random, pressure-situation, not sought-out desserts don’t make me a better person or happier. So that’s probably what I’ll go with. And if a dessert comes up that I didn’t have the option to plan for? Well, recently I’ve said no, and I’ve liked that. But we’ll see. 

Here’s the plan:

Until I leave school on May 16, I need to plan out my desserts (preferably fewer than two) at the beginning of the week. I may bake two times and be spontaneous three times. In other words, I will continue to live the no dessert lifestyle, with not quite as much self-denial, until school is out.

Last thing: You’re reading this. You aren't me. So don’t read this as a recommendation for you. Don’t read it as something you could never do. Read this as a story of sanctification—my process of becoming more holy. Read it and see my answered prayer, strength from the Holy Spirit, and growth. Read it as God being faithful to teach me even though I’ve failed him in that area over and over and over again. 

This post heralds a new category—we'll see if I keep posting in it—that concerns any baking I do from box mixes. And because I used the word "herald" in that sentence, it's very official. 

Anyway, this post is about Monster Mix Blondies. If you've never had Target's Monster Trail Mix, do yourself a favor and go get some now. It's the secret trail mix recipe that all trail mix companies have tried and failed to make for years. Finally, Target's hit it right on and put everything anyone wants in their mix, managing to leave out all the bad stuff (well, it does have raisins. sorry.) 

So I'd had my eye on this baking mix for a while, and when it was on clearance the other day, I snatched it up. Here's some pictures:

Initially when I took them out of the oven and tasted them, I wasn't too impressed. For some reason, though, I just kept slicing little bites off. It was only a matter of time until I found the ticket: 

Peanut butter! It made them super delicious. See?

Verdict:

They were yummy. I'd eat them again. I'd even make them again, except that I'm not sure I'd choose these over baking something new. 

How would I eat them? Arranged on a platter sliced into squares, slathered with peanut butter, and sprinkled with chocolate chips. There's an easy party dish for ya!